and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
