I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
