...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
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