I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
