The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
