So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
