I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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