I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
