you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
