i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
