i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
