i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
