do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You're a waste of cheezeits
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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