the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
