Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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