take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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