she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize