insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
