your room smells of hookers.
And success
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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