Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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