what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
