found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
