it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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