Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
