I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize