I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
