just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't deserve a penis
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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