the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
