He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
