This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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