Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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