How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
