Are we in a gay sports bar?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
