You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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