none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
