Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
