now i know why i became what i already was.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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