ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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