just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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