everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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