Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
