she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
