Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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