so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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