He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize