Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
