Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
