I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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