I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
