she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
