You're my little dorito
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
