remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
