hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
