Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you would pick up someone in the library
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
