so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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