Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize