this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
