I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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